i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
BRING THE BAGELS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
