There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
