dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
