____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
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