She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
