If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
