I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
