you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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