I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
