He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
