he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize