Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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