Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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