if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize