His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
