How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
