I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
