Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
