oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
