Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
