I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
