The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
