Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
