how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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