do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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