While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
