He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
