Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
