Just mADE A PArabola og urine
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
