i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
