That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
