Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize