You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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