People with herpes should wear stickers.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
