if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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