I want to walk on stilts...naked
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
