Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
