she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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