I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How does one acquire holy water?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
