He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
