what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
