Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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