Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
