it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize