Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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