I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
