you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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