so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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