Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
