No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She bit a glass in half.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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