I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
