He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
