I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
