Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
