Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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