Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
