when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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