sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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