so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
