this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I think I sprained my soul last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
