oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
