New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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