I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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